<h3><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>Codependent Versus Confident!</span></h3>
Welcome to the member video blog that I’m entitling, “Shifting from Codependent to Confident Relationships.” This video blog is designed to go with the public video blog, the third video in the “Bargain-Hunting Pitfalls” series, which was called “<a href=”http://thebrynth.com/bargain-hunting-pitfalls-sacrificing-others/”><strong><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>Sacrificing Ourselves for Others.”</span> </strong></a>In that video I talked about how when we are overly responsible for somebody we are actually taking their power. We are standing in the way of them becoming competent to mold and direct their own lives, because we don’t really have faith they can do it without our intervention and our help.
For the shift we’re looking at today I want to encourage you to think of somebody for whom you feel overly responsible. That might mean that you feel responsible for their happiness – when they’re feeling down you feel like you’ve got to pick them up. Or maybe you feel financially responsible to them. Or you feel like you’ve got to give them advice and help them straighten out their lives. Whatever form it takes, <strong><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>you feel like your intervention is necessary for them to do well in the world.</span> </strong>
<h3><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>The Shifting Practice</span></h3>
Once you have that person in mind, you can begin the practice. Start by sitting and closing your eyes. Take some nice deep breaths and imagine that person in front of you. <strong><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>You’re both standing in pools of light, representing the spiritual energy field which is always surrounding each of us</span></strong>. Then you can ask your soul to give you an object which represents your responsibility to that person. If you feel financially responsible for them, the object might be a wallet. If you feel responsible for their happiness maybe you see yourself holding a heart or some healthy food. Whatever the object is, you can imagine yourself holding it in your hand, and think about how you would like to apologize to this person. You might say something to the effect that you meant well and do care about them, but you’ve accidentally taken their power from them. You don’t want them to be power disempowered and that you want to correct it now.
After you’ve given your confession to the person then you can ask your soul how to transfer this responsibility to them. You might actually walk up to them and hand them the wallet for example, or maybe your soul will “float” it to them. It doesn’t really matter, just invite your imagination to allow the transfer. You’re symbolically giving them back the power that you accidentally took from them. Once that’s accomplished you can give them a blessing. <strong><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>The blessing wouldn’t be your vision for their life, but rather a statement of your confidence in that person.</span></strong>
<strong><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>I believe in you. I really want you to have your own life. Whatever that looks like I will support you. I will do my best to stay out of judgment and enter the adventure with you</span></strong>.
<h3><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>A Few Thoughts to Consider</span></h3>
As you communicate your willingness to make this shift, you are also agreeing to live in your own discomfort as they find their way forward, especially when it might not look the way you think it should. <strong><span style=”color: #ff0000;”>You’re willing to release your own expectations so they have perfect freedom from you to live their lives. </span></strong>
You may discover that when you get right down to it you’re not willing to make the shift just yet. If you’ve discovered that you can’t release it right now, <span style=”color: #ff0000;”><strong>acknowledge that you’re not quite in that place of release and ask your soul to give you help so that you are able eventually to give them back this symbol of their power.</strong></span>
I would love to hear how this works out for you, and let me know if you need a little support in this shifting. I really believe it will make you feel so much freer and able to enjoy relationships with people – rather than feeling encumbered by them. Feel free to share here and I will be in touch. Talk to you soon!