Ready to be Forgetful?
This blog is a companion piece to the Forgiveness Fallacy, “Forgive But Don’t Forget.” When people say they’re going to forgive but not forget they usually mean that, while they’re going to try not to have hard feelings against a person who has wronged them, they’re going to keep that incident in their minds as a lesson. They also keep at least a little bit of the pain as well. It’s a strategy of the mind, to use the pain for a little added “oomph” to drive the lesson home.
But the truth is it doesn’t really result in our lives becoming freer or more empowered. In fact holding on to pain creates more restriction. We end up trying to use the pain as a way to divert ourselves away from hurt, but the pain just calls us to more and more pain. Instead of using the mind’s strategy, we can take our pain to the spiritual energy field for resolution. So we experience pain, we know we don’t want it, we bring it to our soul, and our soul integrates whatever lessons the pain has brought to us. Once that’s complete, we release the pain completely.
The Practice of Forgetting
Today our practice will be to drain the life out of our old memories – perhaps memories we’ve already worked on in the past. It could be that we’ve forgiven people who have hurt us, but the memory still has a kick to it. That’s likely because our mind is still holding on to it as a lesson. Since we can trust our souls to navigate our lives in a way that is to our benefit, we no longer need to hold onto this lesson. We are free to unpack that memory completely, so it becomes a true memory with no current impact on our lives.
Today I want to use tapping, or EFT, as a way of releasing the memory. This is how I understand tapping. When we hold onto pain, our bodies also store the memory – which is why it’s alive for us. Our bodies behave as though it’s currently happening. But when we engage that feeling and tap on certain meridian points on our face in our body, we are signaling the body to release this reality. It’s over. The body returns to a normal state and the memory no longer has a physical truth in the world any longer. It’s just something that happened.
Tapping Our “Erase” Button!
I want to invite you to think about a time in your life where you were hurt. It might be something you’ve already acknowledged and forgiven, but the memory still has life to it. Get into that memory, like you’re entering into a movie. Let yourself be in the memory. Notice how your body responds to this experience. Notice the emotions that come up, what it’s like to be in this experience. You want to measure your level of discomfort on a scale of 1 to 10, in order to identify the release when it happens.
Once you’re in your memory movie, it will become the focus of your tapping practice. Sometimes when we tap we focus on words or emotions, but I’ve found it can be really helpful to tap on memory as well. The tapping points are right above the nose on the eyebrow, the outside of the eyebrow, under the eye, under the nose, on the chin, the clavicle, under the arm, and top of the head. (Watch video to see demonstration.) It doesn’t matter which side you tap on. You can tap either side or both sides.
To begin the practice, enter into the memory movie, and start tapping. We’ll start tapping with the first point above the nose, outer eyebrow, under the eye, under the nose, on the chin, clavicle, under the arm, top of the head. That’s one round. Have a breath and then check back in . Very likely as you’ve been doing the tapping you already noticed that your relationship to the memory has began to shift. That’s the signal that your body is agreeing to the release.
Tap through as many rounds as you want with that memory until it is completely unloaded. Your soul is already negotiating or adjusting your path to incorporate the lesson. If you notice that the memory is not unloading it is possible that you haven’t quite got to the lesson of that memory yet. Let me know if that happens and we can meet together and try to do some a little bit of digging to get to the lesson that you need. At any rate feel free to share how it goes for you right here. I’d love to hear it. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye!